XEM transaction with a wrong message - money lost?

Hello,

by accident I sent my XEM to Spectrocoin exchange with a wrong message.
Instead of trying to help their support keeps saying there’s nothing they can do, that (because of the wrong message) their system cannot deposit the money to my Spectrocoin account, the money is lost on blockchain and they haven’t received it.

I suppose it’s just a lie, my XEM was successfully depositted to their NEM adress (which all their users trading XEM share) and since they cannot automatically detect to which account this XEM should be assigned to, they simply keep it (thus, in fact, stealing it). Is that right?

I have details about the transaction, I can make another transaction from the same XEM wallet to Spectrocoin to my account there (using the correct message this time) in order to prove the troubled transaction was actually performed by me and should have been depositted to my XEM account on Spectrocoin. However, Spectrocoin keeps claiming they can’t help.

So, are they just a bunch of nasty criminals and thieves (keeping crypto from these unfortnate transactions with a wrong message to themselves) or are they correct and in case of XEM it is a technical problem to let the XEM transaction be manually credited to a given user’s account on an exchange?

And if it should be possible for them to help in such situation, how can I fight them since they refuse to help? I would lose quite a lot of money if I cannot make them deposit the XEM to my account…

Any hint / help would be much appreciated.

This is how Spectrocoin works.
Most exchanges just sending back after contact with support.

I had the same thing with Binance. They have a special form to claim your coins back. The support was very helpfull. The only thing was that they charge a 5% fee to resolve the problem and it takes up to 7 days. I was already happy that i had not lost all my coins.

Lucky you. 5% is so much better than to lose everything…
I wonder if Spectrocoin breaks a law while keeping this money but wishing to sue a company like Spectrocoin is, I suppose, just a very naive idea… :-/

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